Stop Apologizing for Being Selfish

“Don’t be so selfish!”

We’ve heard this since childhood, and somewhere along the way, we turned 'selfish' into the ugliest word in our vocabulary.  But in our rush to condemn it, we forgot to ask a crucial question: don't we actually need it?

Selfishness is everywhere.

In the orator who won’t surrender the mic, the commuter who dives for the window seat before the train stops, the relative who picks the ripest mango and leaves you the bruised one.  Crude, sneaky, and uncomfortably familiar.

The truth? 

Every creature, from ants to elephants to us, looks out for itself first.  Survival demands it.  You can’t feed others if you’re starving.  Even airplane safety cards remind us: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

So yes, a dash of selfishness is essential.  It helps you say no, protect your peace, and stay sane.  Think of it like lizards eating bugs - unpleasant, but necessary.

Tap buttons below for podcast/video

The problem is, we’re squeamish about admitting it.  So we disguise it:

* The entrepreneur is “creating jobs” (and getting rich).

* The artist is “sharing his vision” (and building a brand).

* The parent “wants the best for their child” (but not the neighbour’s).

But when selfishness becomes a lifestyle, it stops being self-preservation, like the boss who steals credit, the friend who only calls when they need something.  Remember the Titanic’s half-empty lifeboats?  They weren’t just a logistical failure; they were a chilling triumph of selfishness.

Self-interest drives progress.  But selfishness without awareness breeds jealousy, greed, and quiet cruelty.

The key is balance.

Be like a trapeze artist.  Selfish enough to protect your soul, but not so much that you wear a permanent "Do Not Disturb sign" .

After all, caring for yourself isn’t selfish.  It’s how you make sure you have something worth sharing.  Honor your needs, but never at the cost of another’s dignity.