Selling Coal to Newcastle!

As we were 'ringing in' New Year, images of a different 'ring' came to my mind! A 'ring of fire'!

At crowded junctions in villages, you would have seen dogs performing the feat of jumping through flaming hoops held aloft by its master. More than the tiny ring to squeeze past, what scares the dog is the blazing fire, the searing heat. Still, it goes on to bear the ordeal, to support a cruel and selfish master!

Similar rings exist in our lives too. 'Rings of rules', which we encounter day in and day out, eager to negotiate and at times tempted to circumvent. The 'street-smartness', once the exclusive prerogative of dogs seems to have infected us! So, we too leap like the dog …, many a time not through the ring, but the free-wheeling space outside!

A conversation that I overheard in a suburban train, was proof of this ingenuity. Two newspaper vendors were discussing the annual subscription schemes currently on in Mumbai. The scheme offered news dailies at abysmally low rates, as low as 20% the cover price. But, as sales picked up, the scheme underwent a revision. Despite the continuing price advantage, the market reacted with initial resistance much to the vendors' concern.

“Use your brain, buddy. There's always a way,' one vendor was telling the other. He went on to explain. 'When a client declines to renew, ask him a favour. Tell him, if he would handover the renewal cheque and the subscription coupons he gets from the newspaper, you would refund the entire cheque amount in cash. Just a minor arrangement to help you hold on to your distribution figures! Having nothing to lose, most of the clients would agree. You thus get to sell the discounted copies for a full year at regular new stand price, even as you earn the customary commission!'

I was impressed. If 'jumping through the ring' required practice, with a bit of ingenuity you could 'jump the ring' itself! 

"When faced with a challenge,
look for a way, not for a way out!"

21-12-2012: A Cataclysmic Spasm!

If doomsday proponents are right, our date with the unknown is due on 21-12-2012! It marks the end of a 5125-year cycle in Mayan calendar and as interpreted by some, end of our planet too! We may laugh it away, but not the lurking suspicion inside! Are we trivialising it?

Look at the responses. Anticipating huge crowds of believers, the French and Turkish governments have closed down certain sacred places in their countries. The Mexican Tourism Ministry is holding 'Mundo Maya', an initiative of festivities in locations associated with the Mayan civilization. Frenzied buying of essential goods is on in some parts of China. Music Composer A R Rahman is dedicating a special album of hope and optimism on the day! Vatican has, however declared that the world is not going to end on 21-12-2012!

The scientific community too is making the right noises! NASA has debunked most of the doomsday theories. No unusual celestial happenings including planetary alignments or asteroids on collision course have been spotted by the 'Spaceguard Survey'. A severe Solar Storm shutting down satellite communications, navigation systems and power grids has however not been ruled out. Some geologists are also monitoring the world’s biggest volcano beneath the Yellowstone National Park in USA. Its eruption, considered long overdue can obliterate the Sun and plunge us into a frozen era.

To a layperson like me, the spectacle of spiritualists and scientists fighting each other to showcase their notional abilities is tragically comic! They do not possess either cosmic awareness or scientific knowledge to anticipate or avert natural disasters. A fact driven home by recurring droughts, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, nuclear accidents, epidemics, etc.

And the way we go about destroying nature, we may not even have to wait long... !

"In every death, the world comes to an end." 
-  Mason Cooley

Schhh... We Are Looting!

Final year viva voce! After what seemed ages, I was called in. 'What is a Switched Reluctance Motor?' the examiner asked. Having never heard of such a thing, I grunted: 'Would a Squirrel Cage Induction Motor do?' His face turned red, not because 'squirrel' happened to be his nickname, but because I had the temerity to utter it in his presence!

Watch the panel discussions on TV news channels. Most of the participants are like me; some are an enigma even to me! Ask an uncomfortable question. They would first feign ignorance. Rephrase the question, and explanations would follow without rationale or logic. Probe, and they would cry hoarse at having been misquoted or quoted 'out of context'. There are times when they turn magnanimous 'willing to cooperate with any investigating agency' as if their allegiance and faith in the constitution are beyond reproach! Elsewhere, when cornered, they would lash out with veiled and sometimes open threats!

There is a pattern to this behaviour. Deflect attention from misdeeds! Spin a web of baloney and legalese. Confuse the 'mango people'. Do anything to stay on, for time is short and the opportunities lucrative!

We know it, yet remain indifferent. Are we tired of counting the millions and billions being looted? Or have we become dysfunctional and flaccid?

“We hang the petty thieves

 and appoint the great ones to public office.” 

 ~  Aesop