From Stage Fright to Strength

I still remember my first big moment on stage.  Seventh grade; a poem recitation.  My palms were sweaty, head strangely light, and every line I'd memorized had vanished into thin air.  That was my dramatic introduction to stage fright - that shaky, stomach-churning feeling most us call nervousness.  Later, I learned, almost everyone goes through it.

Why Does It Happen?

Nervousness is your body's built-in alarm system.  It gets triggered whenever you enter a new or important situation.  Your mind starts whispering, "This matters, stay sharp."  The trouble is, the alarm can’t differentiate between a school presentation and a real threat.  So it reacts to both with equal intensity.

A Different Way to See It

Physiologically, nervousness and excitement are nearly identical.  The only difference is the label you slap on it.  Tell yourself “I’m excited” instead of “I’m scared,” and feel it flipping from being an enemy to ally.  Sounds simple, but it works because your body believes what your mind repeats.

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Ways to Stay Calm

Try these simple practical moves:

- Take slow, deep breaths.  Let your body relax.

- Prepare well in advance.  That boosts confidence.

- Focus on your message, not on yourself.

- Spot friendly faces in the audience.  Speak to them.

Here’s the part nobody tells you - nerves almost always peak right before you start.  Wait for a minute or two.  The storm settles, and you slide into your rhythm.  When it’s over, comes the sweet mix of relief and pride. 

Nervousness is simply a warm-up.  Not a sign that you're falling apart, but proof that you're gearing up to shine.

So,share in the comments.  What was your worst on-stage moment, and how you managed it?  Someone out there might draw strength from your experience. 

The Little Lies We All Tell...

Ever told a lie, and felt that little flutter inside?  Don't worry.  You're in good company.  Almost everyone on this planet has done it at least once.  Lying is as old as language itself: Habitual, impulsive, convenient, or just reluctant.

Remember school days?  You went to a wedding, but told the teacher, "Ma'am, I had fever."  The plot doesn't change much.  Years later, while sharing beer with friends, you get a call from your spouse.  Without hesitation you say: "stuck in a meeting!"

I once had a colleague who rushed in late for a major presentation.  His excuse?  "My car's carburetor broke. Had to call a mechanic."  Only one issue.  His car was diesel.  Diesel engines don't have carburetors.  We tried hard not to laugh.  

Lesson: if you're going to lie, at least Google it first!

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Most times, we lie to escape embarrassment or avoid trouble.  But are all lies harmful?  No.  Consider the "white lie" you tell a friend, "You look great in that shirt".   Just a gentle "feel good" nudge.  These are featherweights compared to what we tell ourselves: "We're not ready for that task; we'll do it tomorrow."  These ones dress up as caution, common sense, or self-compassion, making them harder to detect.

So where does this leave us?  History celebrates figures known for their unwavering honesty - people who built their entire reputations on never telling a lie, not even once.  Respect!  Yet in real life, being 100% truthful every single second, is hard.  Still, trying to be more honest each day, does make us better human beings.

And here's a playful question to end with: 

Who do you think lies most - politicians when they make promises, or us when we say "I'm five minutes away" while still in pajamas? 😄

Let's promise to catch our little lies and smile at them.  

Small steps towards big truth!

The Vanishing Melody, Broken Harmony

As a schoolkid, I often accompanied my family to temple festivals.  Evenings were dedicated to singers performing popular film songs.  The challenge before my family elders was to identify the raaga, each tune was based on.  Unlike many of today's keyboard composers, the music directors of that era were masters of improvisation, weaving unique melodies from classical roots.  Recognizing those ragas was our delightful puzzle.

We always sat far from the loudspeaker horns tied high in the trees.  We knew it was the melody, not the noise, that truly brought joy to our ears and souls.

Today, the soundscape has changed.  Volume is king.  Heavy beats overwhelm the tune.  In just a couple of decades, cacophony has taken over.  And this transformation in music reflects something deeper, a wider cultural shift away from subtlety toward excess.

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Classical dance forms, which demand years of discipline, now struggle for attention against cinematic freestyle moves that require none.  Tennis, once admired as a graceful game of "touch," is now dominated by raw power.  Even marriage ceremonies, once brief and solemn, have ballooned into multi-day, high-decibel spectacles.

Our festivals too tell the same story.  Rituals once performed with reverence are now executed with an aggression that pollutes rivers and even causes stampedes.  What was meant to unite us has become a mindless contest of loudness, as if devotion is measured in decibels.

But real joy is never loud.  Happiness resonates in a different register.  It rests in silence that offers peace, in calm that renews hope.  The maestros understood this.  Their music had a soul because it breathed.  The space between notes mattered as much as the notes themselves.

And so in a quiet corner at home, headphones on, away from noisy get-togethers and restless crowds, I sit wondering: 

The most powerful note is often the one you barely hear.

What do you think? Share your thoughts. 

Build Bridges, Not Battlefields: Why Do We Argue?

We’ve all seen it.  A friendly chat turning into a heated argument.  Voices rise, tempers flare, and the goal quietly shifts from sharing ideas to proving who’s “right.”  Nobody really wins, except maybe the popcorn guy watching from the sidelines!

So why do we argue?:

Most of the time, we want to be heard, respected or taken seriously.  That quick burst of “victory” feels good for a moment, until we realise we’ve scorched a perfectly good relationship, and gained nothing but hurt feelings.

The better way:

Shift from a fighting mood to a learning mindset.  Next time when the temperature rises, pause.  Take a beath.  Ask yourself: "Do I want to be right, or do I want to stay connected?" 

Tone makes all the difference.  Soften it.  Choose gentler words.  Move from “I think you're wrong…” to “Tell me what you think…?”  Listen as if there’s a test later.  And a little warm, self-deprecating humour can work wonders; just keep it kind, not sarcastic.  Remember, understanding someone isn't surrender; it's opening a door.

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An Age-Old Truth

Over two thousand years ago, Akṣapāda Gautama founded the Nyāya (Logic) school of philosophy and composed the Nyāya Sūtras, its foundational treatise.  Centuries later, Annam Bhaṭṭa distilled these ideas in his classic Tarka‑saṅgraha, writing:

“True debate is a joint search for truth, not a battle to defeat the other person.”

Modern psychology repackaged this insight in fancier words.  Some popular titles worth exploring:

* Games People Play – Eric Berne

* I’m OK, You’re OK – Thomas Harris

* How to Get What You Want Without Having to Argue – Claude Steiner

Last word:

Nobody ever changed their mind because someone yelled louder.  And nobody ends life celebrating an argument they won about pizza toppings!

Choose the bridge. Choose curiosity. The world already has enough battles.

LUCK: The Whisper We Keep Chasing

We've all felt it - that invisible force we call luck.  

• Easy questions in an exam? - Lucky break.  
• Fail anyway? - Bad luck.  
• A sudden accident? - Unlucky.  
• Walk away with just a scratch? - Miraculous luck.

Luck is the name we give to random, unexplained events.  It tilts the scales, sometimes in our favor, sometimes against.  We notice it most in moments that don't make sense. 

Why are we obsessed with luck?  

Because luck gives hope without rules.  You don’t need talent, money, or lineage.  Just the right moment.  When efforts fail, luck keeps our dreams alive.  More than believe in it, we bargain with it.  We wear gemstones that “activate prosperity,” tie sacred threads, hang yantras on our walls.  We pay experts to “fix” our luck, redesign homes to appease Vastu, cancel meetings because the time isn’t auspicious.  A black cat crosses the road and we brake.  A hotel room ends in 13 and we flinch.  

Luck is full-time business.

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Do these charms work?  

Nobody knows.  What we do know is that they offer comfort when life feels unpredictable.  They soothe the mind.  They help us believe life is negotiable, though no ring or ritual can replace genuine desire or hard work.

Can we change our luck?  

We can’t control chance, but we can control how often chance finds us.  Psychologist Richard Wiseman studied chronically “lucky” people and found something surprising.  They aren’t magical. They’re simply more open, more curious, more observant, and quicker to bounce back when things go wrong. 

Luck vs. Fortune

Think of luck as a quick, random spark—a lottery win. 

Fortune is the lasting fire—the legacy you build over time.

Luck is like WiFi: invisible, always around, noticed only when you’re connected.

So what’s the luckiest moment of your life?  Share it.  Someone else might find hope in your story.

A Bow, A Smile, and A Lesson in Civic Sense

Thirty years ago at Osaka's Marubiru subway station, my friend tossed a cigarette pack onto the spotless platform.  A Japanese guy picked it up, and dropped it in the bin.  No anger, no lecture.  Just a bow, and smile.  Dignity in action.  That moment changed how I see the world.

Civic sense isn't just following rules.  It's about creating an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.  Without it, we will see litter on streets, spitting in public, shouting in quiet zones, jumping queues.  These aren't just annoyances.  They're symptoms of a mindset that erodes the quality of life for everyone.

Think of civic sense as your seventh sense.   It guides how you use your other six:  Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste, and Intuition.  It whispers: “We’re in this together.”  The simple idea that our convenience should not become someone else's inconvenience. 

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A sharp civic sense means:

* Seeing litter and picking it up, even when it's not yours

* Hearing the need for silence and choosing to preserve it

* Smelling the stench of neglect in public spaces and taking action

* Touching public property with the same care as your own

* Tasting the quiet joy of order and respect 

* Feeling the impact of our actions, even when no one’s watching. 

Why is it fading? 

Apathy.  Weak enforcement.  Cultural blind spots.  The “me-first” mindset.  The tragedy of the commons: “It’s not my problem, so why care?” 

How do we build it back? 

* Lead by example. Action is more persuasive than preaching.

* Try the 10-second rule: if a good deed takes 10 seconds, do it

* Be kind. Even digital spaces are shared spaces

Civic sense isn't a burden or sacrifice.  It's a superpower that makes daily life cleaner, kinder, and more joyful - not just for others, but for you too.

Start small.  Choose "we" over "me." 

Watch the ripple of positivity it creates.

Why No One Remembers You

“Doctors bury their mistakes, judges hang them, 

and journalists print theirs on the front page.”

This saying highlights the consequences of attention deficit that is plaguing our society.  It also underscores a deeper issue: In conversations, meetings, and even at home, we're physically present but mentally elsewhere.  We've mastered the art of being in two places at once – here, but not really here.

This lapse in focus can lead to severe outcomes.  A doctor overlooks a symptom, and tragedy follows.  A driver checks his phone, and disaster strikes.  A customer service rep recites scripts without truly comprehending the issue.  The uncomfortable truth is:  they all think they're paying attention, but they aren't.

Our world is designed to distract us.  Infinite scrolls, notifications every 40 seconds, and constant context-switching.  This must be actively corrected, if we want to reclaim our focus.

The irony is that in trying to do more, we often end up doing less.  Multitasking, speed-reading, and optimizing are habits that sabotage depth for the illusion of speed.  We fail to realize that slowing down is sometimes the fastest way forward.

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The antidote to this problem is active, disciplined attention:

• Don’t just read – comprehend.

• Don’t just hear – listen.

• Don’t just see – observe.

Consider the snake, which detects the faintest vibration and strikes with precision, ignoring all else.  That's focus.  Train your mind to filter out the noise and lock onto what matters.

In the workplace, this ability to focus ensures a competitive edge.  The person who truly listens gets remembered and promoted.  At home, it deepens connections.  Make your partner feel seen, not skimmed over.  In a world drowning in distraction, focus itself becomes a superpower.

Your challenge:

In your next conversation, give your full focus.  Choose attention over distraction.  Put your phone face-down, look up, and pause before responding.  Notice how things shift.

The cost of a wandering mind is far too high.  By making a conscious effort to focus, you can reclaim your attention, deepen your connections, and achieve more by doing less.

Don’t Take the Bait

How many times have you paused scrolling on your favorite social media feed, tempted by a post that promises the world?  “Invest ₹50,000 and earn ₹10,000 every month!” or “100% herbal cure for diabetes!” or “Brand-new AC for just ₹1,500!” or “Install this app and watch all the latest movies for free!”

They look irresistible, but behind those shiny promises lurk digital traps waiting to steal your money or personal data.  And when we share them without checking, we help those scams travel further and faster.

These posts feed on two of our biggest weaknesses: greed and gullibility.  Each click fuels a scammer’s earnings, or worse, exposes our email, bank, or identity details to criminals.

The golden rule? If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  Pause before you click.

Run a quick scan.

Does the post feel genuine?  Is there fake urgency like “Offer ends in 24 hours”?  Are there spelling errors, awkward phrasing, or too many CAPITAL LETTERS screaming at you?

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Now, ask yourself:

If making money were that simple, would anyone share it online instead of quietly cashing in?  If a miracle herb could cure chronic illness, wouldn’t hospitals be prescribing it?  If a big company were giving away expensive products, how would it stay in business?

Still hearing that whisper: “But what if it’s true?”  That’s the bait working.  Shut it down with one question: Where’s the proof?

A few seconds of doubt can save you from weeks of regret.  Use common sense, verify before trusting, and never share personal or financial details with unknown sources.

Next time you see an unbelievable offer, take 30 seconds to verify it. Your caution protects not just you—but everyone in your digital circle.

Stop Apologizing for Being Selfish

“Don’t be so selfish!”

We’ve heard this since childhood, and somewhere along the way, we turned 'selfish' into the ugliest word in our vocabulary.  But in our rush to condemn it, we forgot to ask a crucial question: don't we actually need it?

Selfishness is everywhere.

In the orator who won’t surrender the mic, the commuter who dives for the window seat before the train stops, the relative who picks the ripest mango and leaves you the bruised one.  Crude, sneaky, and uncomfortably familiar.

The truth? 

Every creature, from ants to elephants to us, looks out for itself first.  Survival demands it.  You can’t feed others if you’re starving.  Even airplane safety cards remind us: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

So yes, a dash of selfishness is essential.  It helps you say no, protect your peace, and stay sane.  Think of it like lizards eating bugs - unpleasant, but necessary.

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The problem is, we’re squeamish about admitting it.  So we disguise it:

* The entrepreneur is “creating jobs” (and getting rich).

* The artist is “sharing his vision” (and building a brand).

* The parent “wants the best for their child” (but not the neighbour’s).

But when selfishness becomes a lifestyle, it stops being self-preservation, like the boss who steals credit, the friend who only calls when they need something.  Remember the Titanic’s half-empty lifeboats?  They weren’t just a logistical failure; they were a chilling triumph of selfishness.

Self-interest drives progress.  But selfishness without awareness breeds jealousy, greed, and quiet cruelty.

The key is balance.

Be like a trapeze artist.  Selfish enough to protect your soul, but not so much that you wear a permanent "Do Not Disturb sign" .

After all, caring for yourself isn’t selfish.  It’s how you make sure you have something worth sharing.  Honor your needs, but never at the cost of another’s dignity. 

Hypocrisy: The Mask We Forget to Remove

We all wear masks.  Some are polite.  Some are protective.  But hypocrisy? That’s the mask that lies.

It’s saying one thing and doing another, preaching honesty while cheating in silence, championing kindness while gossiping behind backs.  Hypocrisy isn’t just contradiction.  It’s a betrayal of trust.

Is a half-truth a whole lie?

We sugarcoat our stories to sound better and braver such as “between jobs” instead of unemployed, “first time to Europe” for a maiden overseas trip, and “combined income” that mostly leans on spouse’s earnings.

These aren’t bold lies, just clever edits like makeup on a tired face.  But they add up.

When someone exaggerates struggles or inflates their worth with words, they aren’t just reshaping a story, but reshaping how they wish to be seen.  And somewhere in that performance, they lose sight of who they are.  The gap between the life we live and the story we tell doesn’t build pride.  It breeds quiet shame.  Hypocrisy isn’t only in what we pretend.  It's also what we choose not to say

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Why do we do it?

Fear, mostly.  Fear of judgment.  Fear of pity.  The hunger to be admired.  A politician speaks of sacrifice but lives in luxury.  A parent teaches respect but mocks others.  A friend vows loyalty but vanishes when needed.  Each moment chips away at trust because they're false.

So what’s the way out?

Not perfection.  Not preaching.  But honesty, starting with ourselves first.  When we admit our flaws, we become more human.  When we speak with truth, we build trust.  And when we act with integrity, we inspire others to do the same.

We've all pretended; smiled through anger; promised what we didn't mean; judged others without reason.  Why?  Sometimes to protect ourselves.  Sometimes to gain attention.  

What's your take on this?  When was the last time you wore a mask?

The Mask of Pretensions

David Foster Wallace once joked, “I’m not a pretentious person. I just have a lot of opinions about things I know nothing about.”

Does that ring a bell?  Most of us have met someone who tries too hard, someone desperate to appear richer, smarter, or more important than they really are.  You may have seen such a person at a party, in a job interview, or scrolling through social media.

Pretension is everywhere.  Students, professionals, influencers, even politicians slip on this mask.  It shows up in name-dropping, in using long and complicated words when simple ones would do, in boasting about achievements, or flashing wealth to impress.  It is not a natural personality; it is a carefully staged performance.sn't the problem.  

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How do you recognize it?

Notice the signs: big words without real meaning, constant mentions of “important” people, exaggerated success stories, or an attitude of superiority with little substance behind it.  Real confidence is quiet and steady.  Pretension is loud but empty.

Why do people pretend?

The answer is usually fear.  Fear of being overlooked, judged, or rejected.  Pretension becomes a shield to hide insecurity.  But here’s the truth: authenticity is more powerful; simpler; stronger; longer lasting.  You don’t have to dazzle people; you just have to connect.  Speak in plain words.  Share your real story.  Ask yourself: Why do I feel the need to perform?  Often you’ll find that the unmasked version of yourself is already enough.

There’s also a close cousin of pretension: hypocrisy.  If pretension is feigning to have what you don’t, hypocrisy is pretending to be what you aren’t, or saying one thing while doing another.  Both are forms of deception; both keep people at a distance.

The world doesn’t need another act.  It needs honesty.  Take off the mask. Let us meet the real you.

Chasing What Matters or What Doesn’t

Ever feel like you're sprinting hard… but on a treadmill, and going nowhere?  Pause. Let's check.

1️⃣ What's your real goal?

A swanky penthouse?  A shiny car that turns heads?  A bank account bursting at the seams?  Or is it freedom to sip coffee leisurely, or chase a passion without a clock ticking?

2️⃣ Who do you admire, and why?  

The ones with yachts, jets, designer bags?  Or those with calm confidence, glowing health, quiet joy?  What’s the real prize you’re chasing?

3️⃣ Ever reached a goal… and felt empty?

That "I made it" moment that faded by morning?  Maybe the chase isn't the problem.  It’s the path you’ve chosen.

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4️⃣ When did you last feel truly content?  

A loud win, a promotion, a celebration?  Or was it a quiet moment - a shared laugh, a sunset walk, a feeling that slipped in softly?

✅ The body keeps score

How easily do you fall asleep?  Do worries wake you at 3 a.m.?  Do you hoard your time, or share it freely?  Your body knows the truth. 

♉ One small fix

Are you running a race someone else set for you, or chasing goals handed down by others?  Name one thing you truly value.  A moment of peace.  An act of kindness.  A feeling that's yours.   That's your starting line.

The takeaway?

Close your eyes.  Picture a moment that made you feel whole.  Hold it.  That’s your compass.  Check - Is it pointing to your destination or someone else’s?

Life isn’t about speed. It’s about direction.  Before you climb any higher, ask: "Is my ladder on the right wall?" 

Excellence Whispers, Mediocrity Screams

In Part 1, we saw how mediocrity often becomes the default.  Let’s now ask why excellence, despite its brilliance, struggles to find its voice.

Excellence is usually wrapped in lofty talk, but a story from a wildlife sanctuary in Kerala brings it down to earth.  A sculptor carved an elephant so lifelike that a wild herd attacked it, mistaking it for a rival.  Undeterred, he sculpted another, less literal, more graceful.  This time, a she-elephant stood guard, refusing to leave.  Apocryphal or not, it’s a quiet reminder, how true excellence gets recognized, even by the most unbiased judges.

Now picture a chic café charging ₹300 for a cortado.  We walked out and into a nearby Udupi joint for a ₹50 filter coffee.  That choice shows something crucial.  Sometimes, excellence wins over the louder, trendier, flashier mediocrity.  What’s often missed is the dying art of the filter coffee master, carrying forward a century of perfected craft.

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These stories underline a pattern.  Excellence isn’t defeated; it’s drowned out.  In today’s “hustle over harmony” culture, speed and hype get rewarded over depth and substance.  A “good enough” idea shouted through viral posts grabs attention faster than a quiet masterpiece.  Think of Instagram-perfect products eclipsing traditional gems simply because they dominate our senses everywhere.

Mediocrity makes excellence look “too much.”  But the real barrier isn’t talent; it’s silence.  Greatness, if hidden, never reaches its audience.  The sculptor’s elephants were known only because they were seen.

So don’t let self-doubt mute your work.  Silent excellence is invisible excellence.  Share your spark, your voice, your craft.  It doesn’t need to be flawless.  It just needs to be heard.

In Part 3, we’ll look at how to break free from mediocrity’s grip and make excellence rise above the noise.