Hypocrisy: The Mask We Forget to Remove

We all wear masks.  Some are polite.  Some are protective.  But hypocrisy? That’s the mask that lies.

It’s saying one thing and doing another, preaching honesty while cheating in silence, championing kindness while gossiping behind backs.  Hypocrisy isn’t just contradiction.  It’s a betrayal of trust.

Is a half-truth a whole lie?

We sugarcoat our stories to sound better and braver such as “between jobs” instead of unemployed, “first time to Europe” for a maiden overseas trip, and “combined income” that mostly leans on spouse’s earnings.

These aren’t bold lies, just clever edits like makeup on a tired face.  But they add up.

When someone exaggerates struggles or inflates their worth with words, they aren’t just reshaping a story, but reshaping how they wish to be seen.  And somewhere in that performance, they lose sight of who they are.  The gap between the life we live and the story we tell doesn’t build pride.  It breeds quiet shame.  Hypocrisy isn’t only in what we pretend.  It's also what we choose not to say

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Why do we do it?

Fear, mostly.  Fear of judgment.  Fear of pity.  The hunger to be admired.  A politician speaks of sacrifice but lives in luxury.  A parent teaches respect but mocks others.  A friend vows loyalty but vanishes when needed.  Each moment chips away at trust because they're false.

So what’s the way out?

Not perfection.  Not preaching.  But honesty, starting with ourselves first.  When we admit our flaws, we become more human.  When we speak with truth, we build trust.  And when we act with integrity, we inspire others to do the same.

We've all pretended; smiled through anger; promised what we didn't mean; judged others without reason.  Why?  Sometimes to protect ourselves.  Sometimes to gain attention.  

What's your take on this?  When was the last time you wore a mask?

The Mask of Pretensions

David Foster Wallace once joked, “I’m not a pretentious person. I just have a lot of opinions about things I know nothing about.”

Does that ring a bell?  Most of us have met someone who tries too hard, someone desperate to appear richer, smarter, or more important than they really are.  You may have seen such a person at a party, in a job interview, or scrolling through social media.

Pretension is everywhere.  Students, professionals, influencers, even politicians slip on this mask.  It shows up in name-dropping, in using long and complicated words when simple ones would do, in boasting about achievements, or flashing wealth to impress.  It is not a natural personality; it is a carefully staged performance.sn't the problem.  

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How do you recognize it?

Notice the signs: big words without real meaning, constant mentions of “important” people, exaggerated success stories, or an attitude of superiority with little substance behind it.  Real confidence is quiet and steady.  Pretension is loud but empty.

Why do people pretend?

The answer is usually fear.  Fear of being overlooked, judged, or rejected.  Pretension becomes a shield to hide insecurity.  But here’s the truth: authenticity is more powerful; simpler; stronger; longer lasting.  You don’t have to dazzle people; you just have to connect.  Speak in plain words.  Share your real story.  Ask yourself: Why do I feel the need to perform?  Often you’ll find that the unmasked version of yourself is already enough.

There’s also a close cousin of pretension: hypocrisy.  If pretension is feigning to have what you don’t, hypocrisy is pretending to be what you aren’t, or saying one thing while doing another.  Both are forms of deception; both keep people at a distance.

The world doesn’t need another act.  It needs honesty.  Take off the mask. Let us meet the real you.

Chasing What Matters or What Doesn’t

Ever feel like you're sprinting hard… but on a treadmill, and going nowhere?  Pause. Let's check.

1️⃣ What's your real goal?

A swanky penthouse?  A shiny car that turns heads?  A bank account bursting at the seams?  Or is it freedom to sip coffee leisurely, or chase a passion without a clock ticking?

2️⃣ Who do you admire, and why?  

The ones with yachts, jets, designer bags?  Or those with calm confidence, glowing health, quiet joy?  What’s the real prize you’re chasing?

3️⃣ Ever reached a goal… and felt empty?

That "I made it" moment that faded by morning?  Maybe the chase isn't the problem.  It’s the path you’ve chosen.

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4️⃣ When did you last feel truly content?  

A loud win, a promotion, a celebration?  Or was it a quiet moment - a shared laugh, a sunset walk, a feeling that slipped in softly?

✅ The body keeps score

How easily do you fall asleep?  Do worries wake you at 3 a.m.?  Do you hoard your time, or share it freely?  Your body knows the truth. 

♉ One small fix

Are you running a race someone else set for you, or chasing goals handed down by others?  Name one thing you truly value.  A moment of peace.  An act of kindness.  A feeling that's yours.   That's your starting line.

The takeaway?

Close your eyes.  Picture a moment that made you feel whole.  Hold it.  That’s your compass.  Check - Is it pointing to your destination or someone else’s?

Life isn’t about speed. It’s about direction.  Before you climb any higher, ask: "Is my ladder on the right wall?" 

Excellence Whispers, Mediocrity Screams

In Part 1, we saw how mediocrity often becomes the default.  Let’s now ask why excellence, despite its brilliance, struggles to find its voice.

Excellence is usually wrapped in lofty talk, but a story from a wildlife sanctuary in Kerala brings it down to earth.  A sculptor carved an elephant so lifelike that a wild herd attacked it, mistaking it for a rival.  Undeterred, he sculpted another, less literal, more graceful.  This time, a she-elephant stood guard, refusing to leave.  Apocryphal or not, it’s a quiet reminder, how true excellence gets recognized, even by the most unbiased judges.

Now picture a chic café charging ₹300 for a cortado.  We walked out and into a nearby Udupi joint for a ₹50 filter coffee.  That choice shows something crucial.  Sometimes, excellence wins over the louder, trendier, flashier mediocrity.  What’s often missed is the dying art of the filter coffee master, carrying forward a century of perfected craft.

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These stories underline a pattern.  Excellence isn’t defeated; it’s drowned out.  In today’s “hustle over harmony” culture, speed and hype get rewarded over depth and substance.  A “good enough” idea shouted through viral posts grabs attention faster than a quiet masterpiece.  Think of Instagram-perfect products eclipsing traditional gems simply because they dominate our senses everywhere.

Mediocrity makes excellence look “too much.”  But the real barrier isn’t talent; it’s silence.  Greatness, if hidden, never reaches its audience.  The sculptor’s elephants were known only because they were seen.

So don’t let self-doubt mute your work.  Silent excellence is invisible excellence.  Share your spark, your voice, your craft.  It doesn’t need to be flawless.  It just needs to be heard.

In Part 3, we’ll look at how to break free from mediocrity’s grip and make excellence rise above the noise.

The Whisper of Hidden Talent - Why Mediocrity (1) Wins?

Look around.  Fame, praise, recognition... everywhere.  People earn celebrity status in fields you know and care about.  And somewhere inside you, a quiet voice asks: "If they could, why not me?"  Another voice, stronger, whispers: "I could've done it better."

This isn't jealousy.  It's that flicker you feel when you watch a movie, hear a speech, read a blog, or sit through a meeting.  You're not bitter or critical.  You just see things clearer, deeper, maybe even better.

So, what is this feeling?  What if it isn't envy, but the echo of your own hidden brilliance?  What if the ache isn't a flaw, but a signal that your potential isn't absent, just unheard?

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We live in a time where loudness wins over skill, where polish outshines substance, where hustle drowns harmony.  Has success been redefined, not by excellence, but by marketable mediocrity driven by relentless self-promotion and social media savvy?

Behind every "I could do better" lies a deeper truth.  Has fear of public failure turned talent into a spectator sport?  We've been conditioned to believe we need credentials, followers, or someone else's nod before our voice counts.

This series is a quiet rebellion - a search for what’s lost when creators stay silent, for ideas never shared, for voices that stayed unheard, yet held something powerful to say.

We'll explore the cost of this disconnect and the stories of those who bloomed late, proving that your best work doesn't expire with age.  It's never too early to begin and never too late to be seen. 

This is for anyone who has looked at something wildly popular and thought - I have something better inside me.

Let’s find it.  Let’s set it free.

Sharpen Your Skills in 2 Minutes

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Here's how it works: 

Glance at the word-cloud above.  Spot the topic  you wish to read, and search for it right away. Don’t see it?  Ask for it.  Your curiosity fuels our content.

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Read the post.  Listen to the English or Malayalam podcast on the go.  Or watch the slide deck video with voiceover. One insight, three ways to absorb. 

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Bite-sized learning beats marathon sessions. Your brain craves focused bursts over information dumps. That’s why every post is engineered for retention and immediate use.

Your move:

Pick one post.  Apply one insight.  Watch one result unfold.  Build your skills not through weekend workshops or lengthy courses, but through consistent 2-minute investments.

In a world racing ahead, micro-learning isn’t optional; it’s survival.

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Why We Break Rules and What It Costs Us

We’ve all done it.  As kids, sneaking a sweet before dinner - harmless mischief, our first taste of the forbidden fruit.  That quiet little thrill of getting away with it?  It lingers.

The Lure of Disobedience

Fast-forward to adulthood: it’s midnight at a traffic light, whether in New York or New Delhi.  No cars, no cops, no witnesses.  You pause, then drive through.  The logic?  “I’m not hurting anyone.”

This is where rule-breaking begins, not with rebellion, but convenience.  Psychologists, like Dan Ariely, call it a low-risk violation.  We bend rules when three conditions align:

• The reward feels worth it.
• The risk of getting caught is low.
• No immediate harm is evident.

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The catch? That justification: “I’m not hurting anyone” - a moral shortcut.  Each small act, like jumping a red signal, pirating a movie, or fudging a tax detail, nudges our inner compass.

The Dangerous Shift

Here’s the risk: our internal question shifts.  Instead of “Is this right?” we ask: “Will I get caught?”

One skipped signal becomes routine.  One pirated movie becomes a habit.  “Everyone does it,” we tell ourselves. Slowly, our conscience stops weighing ethics and starts calculating odds.

This isn’t about guilt.  It’s about self-awareness.  Small choices stack up, shaping who we become.  The person who cuts corners on the road might soon cut them at work.  The one who justifies small deceptions may wrestle with bigger ones.

The slope is slippery not because one broken rule ruins us, but because repeated convenience recalibrates our moral compass.

The Real Question

Next time you’re tempted to bend a rule, pause.  Don’t just check if the coast is clear.  Ask if your conscience is.  Character isn’t what you do when eyes are on you; it’s what you do when no one’s watching.

Online Etiquette: Why Do Trolls Act So Mean?

Ever jumped a traffic light, bribed someone, or downloaded a pirated movie?  Or scrolled past a nasty online comment wondering, why do people behave this way? [Have you ever done something online you wouldn't do face-to-face? Like to share?]

That old saying “Stolen fruit tastes sweetest.” sums it up well.  Hidden behind a screen, bending or breaking rules feels safer.  That little dopamine rush makes us feel invincible.

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Trolls thrive on the same rush.  They're not interested in any real discussion.  They just want our views, likes, and share.  Every reaction gives them a fleeting sense of power.  [Has a troll ever got under your skin?  Did you take the bait?  Drop a quick yes/no in the comments.] 

Every troll has a game plan.  It goes like this:

• Whataboutism:  Drag in unrelated issues to dodge your point of view. 
• Bad-Faith Arguments:  Pretend to debate, but waste your time.
• Personal Attacks:  Insult you instead of engaging  

[Which of these have you faced?  Vote in the comments: Whataboutism, Bad Faith, or Personal Attacks?]

Once you spot these tricks, you realise - what they want is not debate, but your attention.  Left unchecked, they poison conversations, spread misinformation, and erodes online grace and civility.

True..., we can’t silence every troll, but we can stop them. When you encounter one, ignore, argue, block, or report.  [Share, what you'd do, in the comments.]  

Our ultimate aim is must be to keep this space respectful, and troll-free.

Tap on [Part 1] and [Part 2] for "Online Etiquette" series. Stay tuned for Part 4!

Online Etiquette (2): Trolls Trip on Their Own Tracks!

At a packed suburban railway station, someone

yelled, “The bridge is collapsing!” Panic erupted.  Stampede. Lives lost.  That reckless shout, even today echoes, not from platforms, but from screens.

The internet handed trolls a megaphone, but gave us a mute button that barely works.  What began as digital freedom has warped into a lawless free-for-all, where the illusion of anonymity fuels lies, abuse, and confusion.  Decency and dignity bleed out in the aftermath.

The Delusion of Digital Invisibility

Trolls hide behind three dangerous delusions: that they’re invisible, that cruelty passes for wit, and that abuse equals entertainment.  But the mask is tissue-thin.  Digital footprints left in typing patterns, IP trails, metadata, and social links betray every illusion of invisibility.  Every click, every login, every keystroke is a breadcrumb, investigators can follow home.

The damage is devastating and real.  Fake news has sparked lynchings and crashed markets.  Memes disguise hate as humor.  Doctored images shatter innocent lives.  Anonymous harassment campaigns push victims to despair, sometimes even suicide.  Each venomous keystroke leaves lasting scars on real human beings.

Breaking the Cycle

So how do we stop the chaos?  Not with outrage that feeds the beast.  Instead, starve trolls with silence.  Unfollow, block, report.  Amplify voices that build rather than destroy.  Curate your feeds toward sanity and substance.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: anonymity is a cracked mirror, reflecting who you are when you think no one’s watching.  Trolls forget, but the internet never forgives, and rarely misses.  Digital stones often boomerang back as investigations, lawsuits, courtroom summons, or social ostracism.

The Path Forward

Type as if your future self is watching.  Every message you post, becomes part of your permanent record, discoverable by family, employers, investigators, and algorithms designed to connect the dots.

This series will update you: perfect privacy is dead, but realness? That’s bulletproof.

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Online Etiquette (1): The Myth of Online Anonymity

Once upon a time, staying anonymous took skill and nerve.  People forged handwriting, mailed letters from far-off places, or whispered through payphones in squeaky voices.  Old-school spy stuff!  Fun to imagine, easy to crack.

Now... forget it.  The digital world’s a glass house.  Every click, swipe, and scroll leaves a glowing trail.  It doesn’t just say where you are; it screams who you are and what you’re doing.

Yes, privacy tools exist: VPNs, encrypted browsers, even the dark web.  But like sunglasses, they shield your eyes, but won’t make you invisible.

Still, trolls spew crude, vulgar comments, convinced usernames and device settings conceal their identities.  Whistleblowers leak secrets, trusting their digital masks will hold.  Both are mistaken.  The internet misses nothing; it takes just seconds to unmask you.

Your phone quietly tattles on your location.  Your ISP logs every connection.  AI pieces together your identity from crumbs you didn’t know you dropped.  Your devices carry fingerprints as unique as DNA.  One lazy login, one slip... and you’re tracked, exposed, and indexed.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: online anonymity is a fairy tale.  Every search, like, and share builds a pattern.  Machine learning connects the dots before you even log out.

So ask yourself: why hide unless you have something to conceal?  In a world where masks crack, authenticity is the sharpest weapon.  Stand by your ideas.  Own your words.  If you’re going to leave a trail - and you certainly will - make it worth following.

This series will update you: perfect privacy is dead, but realness? That’s bulletproof.

Love (3): The Force That Holds Us Together

Your grandmother waited for years before marriage.  She married a stranger and learned to love him.  You swipe left before someone even finishes saying hello.

Love is no longer a script passed down through generations.  The old way was simple: meet through family, and marry for life.  That page has turned.

Today, love is experiment and rebellion.  In some places, couples cohabit unmarried. Elsewhere, it's punished for crossing boundaries of caste, creed, or theocracy. 

"Till death do us part" has become "as long as this works."  60% of young adults now prioritize personal growth over marriage, asking: Can we love without losing ourselves?

Beyond Romance:

Without love, we're capable of anything.  With it, we're capable of everything.  But love was never just about romance.  The deeper question isn't who you're with.  It's whether you still believe people deserve care. 

Every act of violence begins when love runs dry.  Every cruelty starts when we stop seeing another as human.  Every war ignites when we forget, we belong to each other.

Universal love is the stranger who helps us up, the quiet force that keeps a fractured world from falling apart.  It's what makes us human and keeps us humane.

The Heartbeat of Life:

Why do we love at all?  Because isolation kills faster than disease.  Because hope needs someone to share it with. Because love is what keeps us alive and connected - like the mother who waits up, the partner who forgives, the neighbor who checks in, the stranger who smiles.

Your Choice:

In this fractured age, universal love isn't automatic.  It's a conscious choice to see, to care, and to stay soft in a hardening world. Romantic love may stir the heart. Universal love holds it steady.

The real question: 

In a world losing faith, will you still choose to love, care, and share?

  ▶️ (Click here for Love - Part 1) ◀️

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"Darkness can­not dri­ve out dark­ness; only light can do that. Hate can­not dri­ve out hate; only love can do that.” 

- The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

LOVE (2) —"Forever Is a Fairytale"

Remember the man from Part 1?  Here’s what happened next:

He buys red roses from a florist outside the shop, quietly places them on her car’s rear seat, and hides behind a lamp post to watch.  Minutes later, she comes out.  The moment she gets into the car, she starts rearranging her shopping bags.  Without even a glance, she flings the flowers out.  A passing bus runs over them😢

Sometimes, “forever” is just a fairytale.  Yet we chase love like fools with selective amnesia.  We carry people in our hearts for decades, while they’ve long moved on.

A teenager’s dizzy infatuation?  An adult’s quiet devotion? Or a seventy year-old’s mellow companionship?  Whatever, love always returns us to the same question: Why?

Society sells us grand endings.  But real love lives in the quiet spaces - in the ex who taught us boundaries, in the moments we stayed when we had every reason to leave.

Love is a choice that whispers forever, while the fine print murmurs: “as long as you make me feel heroic.”  Ego says, “I love how I feel when I love you.”  We call it “falling” in love—because no one teaches us how to climb back out.

The Paradox

Lust thrives on dopamine - apps, flirty texts, the high of being wanted. It makes us feel invincible.

But love? Love is oxytocin’s quieter grip, the one that holds on when the thrill has left the room.

Science says passion fades in 18 to 24 months.  Most don’t make it past that curve.  Those who do, stumble upon love’s hidden truth: a quiet graduation - from lust to legacy.

The Fine Print

We vow forever, while ego quietly craves only the feeling.  Gatsby’s tragedy wasn’t that he loved Daisy.  It was that he refused to grow beyond her.

The Final Rule

The hand you held at sixteen may still warm your palm at sixty.  That “I love you” you once whispered, with your whole heart, still echoes in some quiet corner of time.

So love anyway.  Not because it lasts, but because it leaves something behind:  a softer heart, a sharper truth.

What remains isn’t the promise of forever, but the courage to begin again.

  ▶️ (Click here for Love - Part 1) ◀️

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        True love doesn’t stay—it keeps returning. 

LOVE (1): The Magic of First Love

After reflecting on goals, challenges, and the skills to succeed, I now turn to something deeper - Love.  It’s the invisible force that makes living meaningful and survival worthwhile.  For every being on this planet, love is the spark of hope, the lantern of joy, and the path to peace.

This three-part series begins with a quiet story that tells, why we still believe in love’s promises, and why, despite knowing its fragility, we yearn to love and be loved.

In a village in France in early 1900, a boy falls in love with a girl.  They walk hand in hand, whispering sweet nothings and discovering each other.  Alas, good things seldom last long.  Overnight, the girl's family migrates to a distant city. 

Years pass.  One day unexpectedly, the boy, now a middle-aged man, reaches the city.  As he waits to cross the street, a car slows to a halt just ahead and a woman alights.  Her face leaves him transfixed. Fond memories come flooding in...

What happens next reveals something profound about the nature of love, and why, despite knowing better, we keep believing in its promises.  Continued in Part (2).   Join me...

(Edited excerpt from my post publiched in 2015)

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""First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity." — George Bernard Shaw

CAPTURE (8): Discipline - Break-Down and Build-Back

The CAPTURE series was originally planned in 7 parts. But as it unfolded, one truth emerged - nothing sustains without discipline.

Why?  Because discipline is a key that unlocks clarity over comfort.  In a world chasing shortcuts, it whispers, “Stay the course.” Without it, dreams remain wishes.

Picture this:

* You promise a friend, “I’ll be there at 6.” 

Later, you call: “Running late, be there by 7.”

- That’s commitment.

* Your friend replies, “No problem, I’ll wait.” 

- That’s grace.

*You show up at 7. 

- That’s punctuality.

*But your friend is gone. 

- That’s breakdown in discipline.

*Next day, he says, “Sorry; an emergency.” 

- That’s rebuilding discipline.

This simple exchange reveals something profound: discipline isn’t just personal.  It’s relational.  It can be taught, chosen, forced, or inspired.  But it always demands intention.

We don’t struggle because we’re weak.  We struggle because we’re unclear.  When focus fades, action weakens.  And each broken promise chips away at self-trust.  The cost?  Not just missed goals, but erosion of belief in ourselves.

So what’s the antidote?

- Too hard? > Start small.

- Why bother? > Link it to your values.

- Tired? > Rest, don’t quit.

Freedom isn’t doing what we want.  It’s choosing what matters.  Discipline turns “someday” into today.

In Part 2, we’ll explore: 

If discipline is the backbone of human success, could it also be the blueprint for AI?  Before building Artificial Intelligence, shouldn’t we first define integrity?

**Missed earlier CAPTURE posts? [Catch up here ➜]**

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"“Discipline is choosing what you want most, over what you want now.” —Unknown