This is a reflection on my earlier piece:
"Blockbuster Wedding or Busted Marriage?"
"Familiarity breeds contempt!" But is that truly the root cause of divorces? In reality, most cracks in relationships stem from deep emotional fatigue.
I recall a couple who separated after 33 years. Surprised, I asked why. They both gave similar answers: "We realized, maybe a bit late, that we needed our own space, time, and freedom. Why keep hurting each other in silence?" Their voices carried weariness, not anger.
An architect friend once surprised me when I asked what he'd prioritize while designing a house for my wife and me. "The bathroom!" Seeing my confusion, he explained: "A quiet, well-ventilated space where your wife can be alone. Even in the deepest love, constant closeness can sometimes feel suffocating."
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Why Does It Happen?
Relationship fatigue isn't about falling out of love. It's about feeling emotionally drained. Like a joint bank account, it gets depleted little by little, unnoticed, until the balance hits zero.
How Do You Spot It?
- Do you take each other for granted now?
- Do small irritations linger unresolved?
- Does one of you carry most of the invisible load?
- Has warmth shifted to impatience, or worse, indifference?
- Do conversations feel heavier than they used to?
- Do you still care deeply, yet feel strangely distant?
- Do you crave alone time, not to escape, but just to breathe?
If you're nodding yes to several of these, it may not be conflict you're facing, but exhaustion. Many couples who eventually separate aren't angry at all. They are simply tired. Deeply tired.
How to Overcome It
Acknowledge the exhaustion: mental, emotional, and physical. Communicate needs gently, without blame. Share visible and invisible responsibilities. Break old routines before they break you, and intentionally create personal space.
Relationship fatigue is like a slow leak. Ignore it, and intimacy drains away unnoticed. While it shows up mostly in marriages, any long-term partnership too can face this exhaustion.
If this resonates, have a quiet check-in with your partner. Set aside ego. Make gentle adjustments. Respect each other's preferences and priorities.
This is not weakness. It's a mature act of love and strength.
Share your thoughts below.
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